Communication problems can be the source of an immense amount of stress. Instruction in mindfulness-based communication is included in every eight-week Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction course.
Take a breath
Mindful Listening: Observe thoughts, body sensations, and emotions. Connect deeply with what both you and the other person care about, value, long for or need at the deepest level.
Proceed to Mindful Speaking
Empathy: Let the other person know you are making an effort to tune into what they are longing for, valuing or needing at the deepest level.
Honest Expression: Let your words reflect what you are really longing for, valuing or needing at the deepest level.
Make a Request: When you have connected around needs and found a deeper connection, make a specific request that is concrete, doable and present-oriented.
We all share the same basic human needs, and what people say or do are ultimately attempts to meet needs.
Universal human needs are defined as what sustains and motivates human life, what people care about, value, long for at the deepest level.
If we take time and curiosity to listen deeply to human needs, both ours and others, it cultivates compassion and connection. Out of compassion and connection comes an ability to see a larger view and find possibilities that value everyone’s needs.
Often the root of conflict is people get caught in different strategies for how to meet their needs. If we can bring more curiosity to the underlying universal needs, then it’s possible to connect on a deeper level as humans in these shared needs.
Note: This approach has been inspired by the work of Marshall Rosenberg and Nonviolent Communication
© Mindfulness and Wellbeing LLC